


Damian finds out about Hello Kitty

by Red_Dead



Category: Batman - Fandom, Batman and Robin, Hello Kitty - Fandom
Genre: Funny, Gen, batfam, hahaha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Dead/pseuds/Red_Dead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was written for a challenge, its all for fun and what not....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tim sighed heavily as he rested his hand under his chin. Paperwork in hand, he glanced over at the other members in the room. Dick was listening in his own “Grayson” way, Barbra was already logging it into her portable mini laptop and Damian was petting his new cat Alfred, for once not arguing with his father over earlier missions. Bruce was standing at the computer, some detailed explanation of a Bank Robbery of a cold case file. Tim wasn't really interested on that case at the moment. He had other problems to deal with already, mainly that being the Teen Titans. Tim so dearly wanted to talk over with, with Bruce’s potential insight.

Bruce: “That is all for the briefing for today.”

Dick stood up and stretched and made his way up to the elevator, Barbra not far behind. Tim cleared his throat, trying to get Bruce’s attention while he made his way to the Super Computer. Damian stayed, not wanting to disturb his purring friend.

Tim: “Bruce, may I have a word with you about my team.”  
Bruce sat down, dismissing Tim’s request with a …  
Bruce: “Not right now, I have to log in the new Data and …..”

Tim turned around; not bothering to listen to the rest of the non-sense Bruce was spuming at the moment. Tim stopped from cringing when he heard the Demon Spawn’s snark.

Damian: “What’s the matter Drake? No longer the right hand man?”

Tim rolled his eyes, deciding not to push the brat’s buttons at the moment. He glanced at the boy, a small smile formed as he walked away.

*************************************

Robin landed not too far behind Red Robin. Both looked dusty and ready to call it a night. Red Robin pulled a small box out of his utility belt and tossed it to the younger boy. Robin caught it with ease, but a small curious look came a crossed his face.

Robin: “What is it?”  
Red Robin: “I saw it while shopping and it reminded me of you.”  
Robin: “What materialistic item reminds you of me I wonder?”

Robin was a little hesitant, but once the box was opened, it reviled a white cat with a pink bow on its head key-chain. Red Robin left, leaving Robin in his own silent thoughts. He wasn't sure if the boy was insulted or not, he didn't want to stay behind and find out.

***************************

Damian kicked his feet back and forth, the cat Alfred in his lap, Titus just below his feet and an occasional “Moo” echoed in the cave. He kept glancing at the key chain in hand, wondering why Drake had thought of him while buying it. The white and pink thing was growing on him.  
Nightwing popped up, almost catching Damian off guard. The boy growled at Grayson, before hiding the item in his hand.

Nightwing: “Eh, what do we have here, Little D?”  
Damian: “Nothing.”  
Nightwing: “ Wow, real childish there.”

After a short pause, Damian showed the key-chain to Nightwing.

Damian: “Drake bought it for me. What is it?”  
Nighwing: “It’s “Hello Kitty” and wait, Tim bought it for you? Why?”  
Damian: “He said he saw it and it reminded him of me.”

Nightwing took off his mask and smiled. The thought of Hello Kitty + Damian = CUTE!

Dick: “Maybe, because you are… cute?” He was about to call the thing girly, but kept that to himself.  
Damian: “Cute…am I cute?”

Dick sighed, he really didn’t want to get into a conversation with his younger brother about looks, not while he was this young anyways.

Dick: “In a special “little brother” ways, yeah…”  
Damian dangled the keychain above his eyesight.  
Damian: “Hello Kitty….hm….”

**************************

Alfred folded the clothing, a normal routine in his day. Something new caught his eye, where normally there would only be dark clothing, something bright and pink shot out in Master Damian’s clothing. For a moment Alfred thought it might have belonged to Master Richard, but the size of the shirt was for a child. He glanced at the offending item. The pink Hello Kitty shirt smiled right back at him. Alfred smiled, deciding it was a good thing for the boy to have a hobby other than hunting criminals turning the night.

**********************************

Red Hood leaned on a tree, glancing up into the branches.

Red Hood: “I know you both are up there, which is rather surprising to see the two of you get along.”  
Red Robin and Robin jumped down below, landing in silence. Both boy’s stood up, glancing around the area. Red Robin sighed in relief, seeing their targets were just tied up and not shot up.

Red Robin: “Thanks for the help.”  
Robin: “Not like we needed it or anything.”

Red Hood was about to snap back, but stopped and giggled. That right there caught everyone off guard.

Red Hood: “Is that a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on your face?”

Robin narrowed his eyes and Red Robin turned away to hide his growing smile.

***********************************

Damian: “Father?”  
Bruce: “Yes Damian?”

Bruce sat at his computer in the library. Typing away on a current Wayne-Tech product.

Damian: “Can I use your credit card?”  
Bruce: “What for?”

Bruce turned and looked at his son, who was looking rather embarrassed. Bruce smiled, happy to have his son acting so freely like he was.

Damian: “I want to buy something…”  
Bruce: “Is this something Hello Kitty related?”

Bruce smiled, watching as his son nodded. Bruce turned and pulled out his wallet.

Bruce: “I see no harm in it. I was in to Zorro when I was eight…”

Bruce handed the card over to Damian, he watched as the boy’s eyes lit up and that rare smile of his broke the surface.

Damian: “Thank you, Father!”

Damian ran off, leaving Bruce to smile at the boy’s current obsession.

******************************

Tim played with a newly purchased Hello Kitty Punk Style toy. Dick peered over his shoulder, looking on with interest.

Dick: “You know, I was wondering why you bought that for Damian.”  
Tim: “Because Damian likes cats and other animals.”  
Dick: “Is that all?”

Dick eyed Tim, wondering that it couldn't be that simple, after all, IT WAS TIM. Dick knew him, or at least he thought he knew him. Tim smiled, all innocent like.

Tim: “Yes, that is all.”  
Dick: “Ok….Whatever you say Baby Bird.”

Dick left, accepting Tim’s answer for now. Tim smiled wickedly; a small dark chuckle escaped his lips.

****************************

Alfred opened the door, a UPS man with a very expensive look package in hand.

Alfred: “Master Damian, a package has arrived for you.”

Alfred watched in amusement as Damian jumped down from the second story and landing with ease. He quickly made his way to Alfred. He took the box like a child on Christmas before quickly running back upstairs with his prize.

Damian: “Thank you Pennyworth!”

Alfred raised an eye brow, before looking down at the invoice.

Alfred: “An Item from Japan.”

As he read on, Alfred’s jaw went slack, seeing the price of the item at the end of the invoice.

***************************

Bruce rubbed his growing migraine. Damian sat in silence.

Bruce: “Damian…When you asked for my credit card, I thought you were going to get and item…on the less costly side…”

Bruce folded his hands together, taking a deep breath in the process. His son looked rather down by the situation.

Bruce: “Not a 15 million Yen Diamond Hello Kitty Doll.”

Damian frowned, he felt like he did something wrong.

Damian: “Do I have to give it back.”

Bruce’s breath caught in a hitch between anger and guilt himself. Damian was pulling off a kicked puppy dog look. He let that breath go and smiled.

Bruce: “No, you don’t have to give it back. Dick, Jason and Tim have all done something similar. But next time…”  
Damian: “I’ll tell you the price!”

Damian got up and left, grabbing a ball to go play fetch with Titus.

*****************

Tim smiled as he drank his hot coco. His eyes never leaving the book he was currently reading, even when Bruce walked in and sat down with a very disgruntled frown.

Bruce: “What did I do to tick you off?”

Dick, who was half way in the fridge, leaned back with a bowl of cereal and milk in hand. A smile snaked a crossed his face. This was going to be good.

Tim: “Whatever do you mean, Bruce?”

Bruce studied Tim for a moment, before it clicked.

Bruce: “It’s because I wouldn't listen to you about your team right?”

Tim placed his cup down, his eyes never leaving his book.

Tim: “Perhaps?”

Bruce frowned, little worried about his third son and his extremely scary mind. Tim finally glanced up with a smile that would have normally sent chills up and down a person’s spine. But Bruce wasn't a normal person, he was the Batman.

Tim: “Do it again and next time I will introduce him to the world of My Little Pony.”


	2. My Little Pony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write funny things again...
> 
> Damian finds out about My Little Pony, thanks to Tim....

Sequel to Damian finds out about Hello Kitty

Damian finds out about My Little Pony!

 

Dick: “What have you done?”

Dick cowered back behind a sofa. Trying to get away as quick as he could. Away from the unreasonable Tim Drake.

Tim sat on his lazy boy, gingerly drinking his beverage of hot coco and marshmallows. He was savoring the taste, like he was with his victory.

Tim: “Did you think I was jothe king?”

Tim cracked out an evil laugh, one fit for the evil, glorious bastard that he had become in that moment. Dick glanced over the sofa, slowly raising his eyes that fell upon a closed door. Strange and horrifying noises came from within the room.

Dick: “But WHY? How could YOU? To Bruce of all PEOPLE….ok….I can get Bruce at times but…”

Dick stood up and did a questionable pose, trying to figure out the “why” part and the “how” and for Bruce it was a no brainer, because really he was being an ass again. Dick sighed, giving up on that thought, before ducking behind the sofa again and hiding from the evil master mind.

Dick: “Why have you involved Raven in this?”

Tim took another drink of his hot coco, a brown milk-stash covered his face.

Tim: “Oh, don’t you know? Raven is a Pegasis.”

Dick: “A pega-what?”

Tim rolled his eyes, he was dealing with a man who was a child in an adults body. It was a minor miscalculation on Tim’s part for that one. Dick’s dumb founded look on the other hand, made that problem seem much smaller.

Tim: “A pegasis, is a girl who’s into My Little Pony. A Bronie, is a boy who’s into My Little Pony.”

Dick: “And who the hell is a Bronie in this house…hold….”

Dick glanced over at the closed door again. More scary noises came from within the doomed room.

Tim sighed again, noticing his hot coco was going to be refilled.

Tim: “I thought it would be a no brainer for one. Damian is a bronie.”

 Dick: “And how do you know that Raven was a Pegasis?”

Tim leaned back in his chair, thinking back to how and when he found out.

Tim: “Well….”

 

88888

The ringing of the store door opened. A woman smiled brightly at the dark haired youth that walked in.

Store Owner:  “Well hello Alvin. Excited for today’s issues?”

Alvin (aka Tim): “I sure am Kate! I really want to see what happens with Young Avengers!”

Kate: “Oh, I wonder what Loki has in store for those kids. I do feel sorry for Billy, he really snafu’d this time around.”

Alvin started to “fan-boy” when his eyes fell onto a tall girl in dark purple clothing. There was something about her. Kate smiled a little slyly.

Kate: “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve got an interest in her? She’s a good customer, but a little strange.”

Alvin: “It’s nothing like that Kate. I think I know her. Let’s find out…”

Alvin wasn’t sure or not. Hell, Tim himself thought it was a strange girl, looking at “My Little Pony”. So he went with it any ways, expecting the girl not to answer him.

Alvin: “Raven?”

Tim’s heart stopped. The woman had turned, reacted to her name. Raven turned her head. It was flushed red from embarrassment. The hoodie she wore couldn’t hid her mortified look.

Raven: “T….Alvin?”

Her look changed from embarrassment to a forced smile. Tim felt like he was going to die.

Raven: “How nice to see you here….Come join me…why don’t you….”

Kate watched with interest as Alvin walked his way over, be it a step slower than usual. If Kate hadn’t had known, she could have sworn the boy was walking to his own death. He took his place by her side, keeping his eyes on the comics. From his side view vision, raven was a good two feet taller than him.

Alvin: “So what brings you here today?”

Raven: “My Little Pony….you….”

Alvin: “Marvel and DC Comics….Going to be picking up the back issues too…”

Well, if this wasn’t awkward. Tim went to grab for a title, in a way to grab his comic and go. A slight hiss escaped from Raven’s mouth. Tim retracted his hand. He was mindlessly reaching for the My Little Pony comic book. He had to think fast.

Alvin: “My little brother is a Bronie….he asked for me to grab him an issue…”

 In that moment, Tim surrendered his fate into Raven’s hands, because for a moment he thought he was going to die when her two hands clasped his.

Raven: “AH, your little brother is a fan! We must get together and talk of this wonderful series.”

Tim had paled, as if all his blood had left his body, before he broke into a shaky smile. She didn’t catch his lie. Which also now mean Tim had to introduce the show to the kid…joy...

Raven’s smile broke and her face turned into something scary, her voice darkened and her eyes glowed red.

Raven: “But if you ever tell anyone you saw me in a comic book store, shopping for my little pony….I will kill you.”

By this point Tim was mentally screaming and overall going nuts. On the outside, he was calm cool and collective. Either way, he was screwed.

 

8888

Tim: “Well….I forgot?”

Dick narrowed his eyes, stood up and pointed his finger at Tim, in his whole dramatic flair.

Dick: “Liar! And you know it!”

The sound of a door smashing turned their attention elsewhere. Dick, this time ready to bolt for the window if need be. The door with the scary noises opened and out jumped something black and horrifying.

Dick held his hand to his face and screamed. Tim sat his cup down and stood up, ready to trip Dick and leave for his own escape.

The Dark mass, was huffing. The clicking noise was heavy, angry. The only colors other than black, were the piecing blue eyes and a yellow bat symbol on the hind quarters. The accessory bat-belt gave it a cuter touch to it. Those blue eyes fell onto Tim, who, with all his might, tried not to smile or crack a laugh. But considering the current situation, he couldn’t help himself, nor could Dick for that matter.

Tim: “Oh My God, ahahahahahaha. What do we call you?”

Dick: “He’s so cute! I bet he’s named Bat-Pony?”

The Pony decked out to look like Batman spoke, causing both boys to shut their mouths. The Pony had a very deep, familiar voice. One that belonged to Bruce.

Bat-Pony: “Laugh again…and see what happens…”

Both Tim and Dick looked at each other. Shock written on their faces. The Black Pony spoke. The voice so not fitting it’s….cuteness factor. They couldn’t help it and both cracked up laughing. The Bat-Pony charged, catching the brothers off guard. Dick was the first victim to fall to the “vengeance” pony.  From the Bat-belt, a wire wrapped around Dick’s legs, knocking him down. Tim had jumped the second wire, opting to make his escape from the window.

Bat-Pony: “Come back here!”

Dick: “Run Forest, RUN!”

Bat-Pony narrowed his eyes at Dick, whom he was currently still hog…pony tying up. Dick was really confused. How the hell was this pony here? And how the hell did he know Batman’s move?

Dick: “Who…what the hell are you?”

Bat-Pony: “I’m Bruce. Can’t you tell?”

Dick stopped and looked, before breaking into laughter again. Bruce tightened the wire.

Bruce: “Raven put a spell on me….I want it gone…as you boys know….I HATE MAGIC just as much as I hate HORSES….”

Bat-Pony left Dick alone in the room, making his way for the escapee on the run. Dick watched at the Pony jumped out the window, before trying to make his own escape.

Dick: “Wow, for a pony, Bruce sure can handle himself.”

Damian: “Grayson….Raven and I acquire assistance.”

Dick couldn’t help but smile. Looks like Bat-Pony was able to “pony” tie them too… Raven fumed.

Raven: “You guys never told me you had Magic repellent wire.”

Dick inched wormed his way over to the door’s opening. Looking over at the two. Damian hung upside down from the ceiling. Raven tied to a chair. The only thing that came to mind for Dick was one question.

Dick: “Why the hell did you turn Bruce into a Pony?”

Both the offenders looked at each other, then back at Dick.

Raven: Damian: “You wouldn’t understand the power of the Pony….”

888888

Jason yawned as he scratched his day old beard. He looked out the kitchen window as he started to pour himself a glass of orange juice. His aqua eyes fell upon a scene that baffled him. In the distance, he saw Tim running away from what looked like a….

Jason: “Is that a Pony chasing Tim?”

Alfred glanced up from his newspaper and gave a blank look at Jason.

Alfred: “I do say Jason, its best you go back to bed if you’re seeing things like that…..”

Alfred turned the page, going back to reading. Jason kept glancing out the window.

Alfred: “Besides, if there really was a Pony out there…Damian would be calling it Bat-Pony like he does with Bat-Cow…”

Jason smiled back.

Jason: “You mean my Bat-Steak.”

888888888888

 And thus ends the short lived adventure of Bat-Pony…and Tim’s rain check for revenge.


End file.
